![]() It can take over your whole life and make you blind to what’s important.īut I didn’t know all that growing up. I know that addiction can become you if you let it. I know addiction is a disease, but I couldn’t help but internalize the fact that no matter what I did, you still ran back to drugs. When I got my first real job out of college, you never once acknowledged that proud moment in my life. You didn’t show up to my High School OR my College Graduation. You never took the time to care about my achievements. I never got in serious trouble, I was a dancer, a hard worker with future career goals and aspirations – but none of that ever mattered to you. ![]() I excelled in school and was a straight-A student my entire life. No matter what, you continuously chose drugs over your daughters. I have no idea how to trust someone fully, how to truly believe they won’t hurt me one day like you often did. My trust in you was broken time and time again, and now, that feeling interferes with my everyday life. But then, you would slip up again, and I would realize, you still had not changed. I would hold on to those fleeting moments when you acted like a real mom – the moments you were drug-free. All those times you said you would get better, and I continued to put my faith in you.Įspecially after you’d return home from rehab, I would cling to you, and to hope. Like the time you spent Christmas in rehab. I could never trust in you to be there for the important things. ![]() I would always let you back into my life, and then you would hurt me all over again. You broke my trust so many times, it’s hard for me to trust anyone anymore. You never cared if you put me in danger, and never even considered the damage you were doing to me, mentally.īecause of you… Trusting Someone Never Comes Easy You would claim it was because you had been drinking, when unbeknownst to me, you were actually high.ĭrugs always came first. All those times you would bring me with you to go meet up with your drug dealer, who you disguised as your “friend.” All those nights when I was little and we would be playing board games – you would be jittery and skittish, so I would ask why you were acting strange. All those years you dragged me along to your “friend’s” house so you could sneakily snort cocaine in the bathroom while I was forced to hang out with their daughter as a distraction. You damaged me in more ways than I think you’ll ever understand, or will ever be able to admit to yourself.Īll those years of watching you go in and out rehab, always saying goodbye, never knowing when you were coming back. Sadly, those memories are overshadowed by your poor life decisions, and more so, by your addiction to drugs. You certainly provided me with bright and happy moments that I will always hold on to, and will forever cherish. Between dance rehearsals and recitals, driving me to school, going with me to get my first tattoo, taking care of me when I was sick, baking cookies together, and watching Red Sox games with me. I want to start by saying thank you for all the times you actually were “like a mother” to me.
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